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If someone wants to sleep with you, they will make it pretty obvious to you. I first posted my story mostly out of spite and a lingering urge to burst Alex’s bubble, even when I thought I had made my peace with the situation.Can more people learn to go by the “saying yes means yes” rule and not the “only saying no means no” rule. It was pretty selfish of me, and when people posted about their heart going out to all the victims and how brave we are… I posted anonymously, which immediately diminishes any sense of courage, and I didn’t feel worthy of anyone’s well wishes because i) I felt like posted out of trivial malice and ii) I didn’t feel broken any more, so it felt like I had exaggerated Alex’s wrongdoings and my torment when really I’d just managed to distance myself from it.We were (and still are) such huge parts of each other’s lives, our online personas started to reflect that.In the same way that owners begin to look like their dogs, partners often start to mimic each other’s mannerisms the more time they spend together.Apart from being a gifted vocalist and musician, he’s also an ace instrumentalist skilled in playing bass guitar, drums, keyboard, ukulele, and the ‘Appalachian dulcimer’-a fretted string instrument.He also tried his hand in writing a novella titled ‘The Underground Storyteller’, which was rejected by publishers following which he proclaimed that he would publish it on his own. I like Harry Potter, various TV shows, books, snuggling, glitter, board games and unicorns. Ok I’ve never really understood why people struggle to find it difficult to establish consent.

How scared I was to mention the word “boyfriend” or “Alex” for fear of someone reading too far into it.We become parts of each other that we clearly can’t hide and when you’re tweeting, blogging and uploading those affected versions of yourselves, people start to notice.We never confirmed or denied that we were dating because we never felt that we owed the internet a detailed explanation. What was ridiculous was how we didn’t realise how much easier and how less tense our lives would have been on and off line, if we’d relaxed about it all a little more.Trigger warning: Sex, adultery, manipulation, rape They are not geniuses. They are humans, who have become good at what they do, through education and practice, and because of that, have gained an internet following.That in itself is pretty impressive, I’ve got to give you that, and no one wants to take that away from them.




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